Pages




Learning to Count to 5 and Other Lessons

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

There are a lot of important lessons that you learn as you grow up.  You're taught to save money and be respectful and be kind and that's really just the tip of the iceberg.  For me, the hardest lessons have been learned over the past 15 months.


I've always been outspoken and have always been firm in what I believe to be right and wrong.  But I've never realized just how stubborn and stuck in my ways I already am at 28.  Living with someone will definitely show you those parts of yourself that you weren't totally aware of.  Living with your boyfriend in a 415 square foot STUDIO apartment will show you those parts of yourself in a matter of days.

Let me just start by saying that I love my boyfriend very much and we're so similar that sometimes it's scary.  However, spending 15 months together in a tiny space has a way of highlighting the differences in how we approach different situations and how much work a relationship can really be.  Adjusting to accommodating someone else is never easy and here are some of the lessons I've learned (and am still trying to perfect).

Who could stay mad at this face :)

1) Count to five before you speak.  The wrong remark or the right remark with the wrong attitude can spark an argument or be conveyed in a less than desirable way.

2) Learn to pick you battles strategically.  Just because you've always done some trivial thing - like loading the dishwasher - a certain way doesn't mean you need to tell/harp on/nag your significant other or roommate to follow your lead.  You can adjust to a new way of doing things.  Sometimes the adjustment is long and painful but it's the best thing in the long run.

3) You do not always need to be right.  Correcting what someone says or does and getting the last word should not be the most important thing.  The most important thing is getting along and being happy and living a stress free life.  There is no need to add stress if you don't have to.

4) Keep open lines of communication.  This home belongs to both of you and both of you need to feel comfortable in it all the time.  If you keep your emotions and feeling inside then you will eventually resent the other and at that point it's much harder to come back from it.  NOTE: When keeping an open line of communication, please refer to lessons number 1, 2, and 3 :)




8 comments:

  1. These are such great points!! I definitely think its important to pick your battles and divide and conquer tasks so that one person doesn't feel like they are doing the brunt of the work!! As for the question you asked on my blog - email me at blovedboston23@gmail.com - you're a no reply blogger (can help you with that too) so I cant find your email address on your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your point #3 made me thing of this encounter I had (http://thelifeofmegananne.blogspot.com/2012/06/of-birdhouses-and-homework-kindness-and.html). "Would you rather be happy or right?" Most people would choose happy. It's a good wake you up kind of question... especially to remember in the heat of the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely. Sometimes it just feels so important to get the last word and prove someone wrong but it's usually not the best in the long run. Have a great day!

      Delete
  3. Love these & ring so true! Great advice :).

    I feel like I need to hang a "pick your battles" print somewhere on our house because it really is a good reminder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha sometimes I feel like I need to hang one in every room in the house :)

      Delete
  4. Maura, Thanks for following me on Bloglovin', because I'm so glad I found you! This post is wonderful- I'm moving in with my boyfriend in 2 months and it's good to be reminded to step back to make sure I don't pick fights about small things and that I need to learn to accommodate to certain things, even though I might have done it a specific way in the past. I look forward to reading your other posts :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely a learning experience and it's not easy but it can be really fun too :)

      Delete
  5. This was such a perfect post for me today:)

    http://thecoralcourt.com/

    ReplyDelete